Juggernaut
by ubercoolman
Summary: Wooo spooky. Another 'this kid's gonna be an unstoppable force' story. Yayyy.
1. Chapter 1 leaving Konoha

So I had this idea in my head for a while and it had to get out sooner or later... this is my first story annnd... hopefully you'll like it, if you read it!!

ooooooo

Chapter 1.

Breaking out

"Naruto-sama!" A cute, kind of hot secretary walked into his large and neatly furnished office.

"What is it Mina-chan?" Naruto sat at a beautiful oak desk and in a large, dark leather chair.

"Ah, Shoji-sama told me to report to you that Konoha will be sending emissaries with negotiable alliance contracts within the week."

"Huh. A little late of the uptake for Konoha… Thank you Mina-chan, you can go." Mina left, leaving Naruto to contemplate his past.

"How did this all begin anyways?"

ooooooo

A small, three year old Naruto walked out of his preschool building alone, not bothering to spare a glance in the direction he was going. He knew how to get home. Hokage-jiji showed him once, and that was enough. He never liked going outside though, not anywhere except Ichiraku really, even though people could still see him there. Everyone in Konoha was mean to him, with all the stares, the looks, and the mutterings that they thought he couldn't hear.

'Demon? I don't get it'. He never knew what to make of their spite for him. He hated it in Konoha.

He arrived at his small apartment and immediately crawled into his bed. Lying down, he stared up at the cracked and chipped ceiling blankly.

"I don't like it here," he muttered to the sadly painted ceiling. After napping, he decided to make some ramen but had run out, so he timidly walked down to Ichiraku's.

"What can I get you Naruto? Teuchi asked kindly, itching his neck with his ladle.

"And why do you look so down? Something wrong?"

"Nothing oji-san, just everyone being weird here again, Naruto replied glumly.

"But I think a chicken ramen will make me feel better!" he said, turning his mouth upwards into a wide grin.

"Good choice, I'll have it ready in a second."

Rather than eating his food intensely, Naruto ate slowly, his young mind in as deep thought as he could generate.

'I wonder if jiji would let me move away from here. Probably not... He pays for the apartment anyways. This place is… mean. I wonder if people everywhere else are nicer than here? It's probably better than here anyways. All the traveling merchants are nicer'. Finishing the last of his ramen, Naruto made a quiet resolve to leave Konoha. Over the next week, he thought of ways to leave, as the gates were constantly guarded by ninja who seemed to notice and observe everything. Not to mention the ANBU everywhere, who always seemed to be a looming threat.

At first, Naruto thought of attempting to fool the ANBU by cosmetic trickery, but after seeing a seedy merchant trying to disguise drugs as simple cooking ingredients and being violently apprehended, Naruto immediately thought against it. Eventually, Naruto turned to ninjutsu as another possible option. He observed gennin in the academy showing off by creating bunshins and henging them and such and made up his mind to learn bunshin. The only problem was, he didn't even know how to mold chakra.

ooooooo

"Hiiiiiiiiii jijiiiii!!!" Naruto yowled out as he kicked open the Hokage office door.

"What is it this time, Naruto?" Sarutobi peered at Naruto over his mound of paperwork.

"I need some help. I wanna learn how to use chakra so I can avoid the villagers." Naruto's actions were a quick dip from his boisterous entrance, his eyes to the ground and his voice scratchy and barely audible.

"And how then would you use the chakra to avoid the villagers? I do believe that you'd need to learn how to use techniques as well." Sarutobi's mind went through the motions of logic, finding chakra enhanced jumps as well as henges to be the most reasonable.

"Um, I saw a lot of ninja's running on buildings really fast and I was thinking I could learn that. And there are a lot of academy kids that can change how they look with chakra. I wanna learn how to do all that!! … And stuff!!" Sarutobi looked at the small boy with amusement.

"Alright, if you think you can. I have a scroll here that details how to sense your chakra. It might be a little hard to understand, but come find me if you have any difficulty. Is that okay?"

"Sure old man!! This is gonna be awesome!!!" Naruto cheered as he exited the office.

ooooooo

Six months passed, and Naruto had persevered in his chakra training. The daily hate filled glares and murmurs were a constant reminder of his goal to finally leave this place full of anger. Even more, he felt somewhat prepared to leave his most hated hometown. He had enough money saved up to last him maybe three months, and had his possessions neatly ordered for quick departure at any time. There was one last skill he needed to master though, the bunshin.

He had mastered the basic chakra control exercise based on having a leaf stick to your forehead as well as float off of your forehead. Extending his knowledge of chakra control, he tried to imitate the many ninja he saw on a daily basis, who always ran around on the sides of buildings and effortlessly made superhuman jumps from building to building, tree to tree. He had gained a rudimentary grasp of running along the sides of walls as well as using chakra to allow things to stick to him. Interestingly, falling asleep on training grounds allowed him to wake up to ninja practicing their techniques to where he could observe them.

He had also mastered the henge, which, in tandem with sticking to things, became a key tool in his pranks and escaping from the angry individuals that he targeted.

But the one skill that had consistently eluded him was the bunshin. After training in chakra exercises constantly, he had gained a limited sensitivity to amounts of chakra usage. By paying close attention to the ninja he saw performing techniques, he began to gain a grasp of their chakra amounts between techniques. But the one thing that confused Naruto was that in some bunshins, the chakra level was abnormally low while in other bunshins, the chakra level was enormous. Confused by that expanse of chakra difference, Naruto first attempted the smaller one after noting that it would be easier and had less hand seals. Unfortunately, each time he tried, his clone looked like it had been grinded in between two very large rocks.

After deciding that he couldn't perform the lesser one, he decided to try performing the more chakra concentrated bunshin. He observed the ninja practicing their techniques, constantly running through their seal orders in order to perform their technique correctly.

ooooooo

After a week of searching for the ninja actually performing the technique, then observing and committing the handseals to memory, he experimented on his technique and incidentally fell unconscious from exhaustion. Fortunately, he wasn't on a roof or anything. When he finally awoke, he growled to himself in frustration as he surmised that he was either to weak to use either bunshin.

'It's not fair!!!' he ranted in his mind. He thought everything was okay and going in the right direction, but then at the last second, he had to get jilted by a roadblock that was chakra usage.

'Fuck the roadblock,' he thought and resumed attempting the bunshin again. Unfortunately, living in a ninja village had expanded his exposure to profanity exponentially, which would ultimately screw with his future quite a bit.

ooooooo

He had finally mastered the higher-powered bunshin. After nearly two months spent in and out of consciousness, he could not only form one bunshin, but ten, at will. He remained focused on his goal of leaving the village, with the villager's hateful glares and whispers all around him day after day. He felt a small amount of guilt at what felt like betraying the Hokage and old man Teuchi, but not even they could excuse the madness that the rest of the village retained. Well, unless if Teuchi came up with a super awesome ramen that like... made him addicted or something...

Approaching his 4th birthday, he believed he finally had everything ready to leave. He had nearly 6 months worth of savings as well as a small pack that held what he considered his essential supplies— a toothbrush, toothpaste, a large tin cup, a large box of matches, fishing hooks, a small tent, and a sleeping bag. Now all that remained was to orchestrate his escape.

To his knowledge, the Hokage didn't know anything about his abilities, and because of that, Naruto felt confident in his ability to mislead him. He figured out that by allowing his rusted out gas main to leak in his apartment, he could use a bunshin to ignite the gas as a diversion in order to 'disappear' himself. Grinning at the thought, he prepared his diversion the night of his birthday.

ooooooo

He woke up and immediately henged himself as an old crone and used his pack as a hump back. He performed a bunshin who turned on the gas and allowed it to begin to spread around his apartment, and then set out to leave. Shuffling slowly through one of the less celebratory streets, he moved at a snails crawl, going the long way to the village gates. The village perimeter was 20 miles around, including the forests and took the better part of the day to span. His patience had begun to wane in the first fifteen minutes of his walk, so he had tried to entertain himself by playing a game where he stared at the villagers and tried to make them uneasy with his crone henge. After getting bored with that, he decided to try counting ninja in the vicinity, starting with the hitai-ate's, and then looking for the more subtle hints. Finally, less than a quarter mile from the village gates, Naruto allowed his bunshin to trigger what he had been waiting for all day.

The explosion rocked the building, concrete, glass, and wood all showering the street below. Villagers around it cowered at the sight of the smoking building, but slowly tilted their frowns into vindicated smiles as they saw whose apartment it was.

Naruto shared the grin as he left the village at a full run. The guards had not even bothered to stop him as at the moment, they were on their sixth round of sake and all on the verge of vomiting.

He didn't stop running at the tops of trees until daylight hit the forest he was running in. Thoughts of freedom, of liberation from the tangible hatred within the village flooded his mind as he whooped with joy while jumping from branch to branch, across the plains, wherever he was traveling. Upon entering a fifth forest, he slowed to an exhausted hop and attempted to lie down on a tree but fell off and knocked himself unconscious upon hitting the dirt.

Hours later, Naruto found himself being poked awake by a strange, cloth covered, foreign appendage.

ooooooo

Well, chapter one is done. Naruto has 'apparently' successfully left the village, whether it was due to the Hokage's unspoken allowance as he is still technically a citizen and able to leave whenever he chooses, or completely blindsiding the Hokage and leaving without his discovery while simultaneously faking his death. Who knows.

He's a little less ADD than your average child because he's slightly autistic, although I'm just building the character- I guess we'll have to see where he ends up, right? Woot

Holler back homies.


	2. Chapter 2 what am I doing with myself?

Back again after bouts of insomnia... Gonna try taking melatonin and seeing if that helps... Anyways, more selfishness on speeding up the story. Buckle up homies.

Ch. 2

He was being poked awake by something really uncomfortable. It was an awkward touch because it felt like a giant metal muzzle. Cracking an eye open, he found a gigantic sword tip poking him in the cheek.

"Holy fucking shit!!!! What the fuck!!!" Naruto screamed, his eyes bugging out. He rapidly crabwalked backwards, dust kicking up as he sped away.

"Get back here kid, I just wanted to ask you a few questions!!!" A hulking blue giant of a man ran after him, his equally giant sword waving on his shoulder with each step.

Naruto screamed his throat hoarse as he saw the fish looking man bounding after him.

"I have candy!!!" The man yelled, as if hoping it would tempt the child enough to hesitate some.

"What the fuck?!?! You never say that to a kid, otherwise you're automatically counted as a child rapist!!! You don't try to question kids when you look like the homunculus that you are, or when you look like you're gonna eat me or when you have a big ass sword that's probably got a bigger waistline than me!!!" Naruto shrieked in his overly prepubescent voice, redoubling his efforts to evade the homunculus of a man.

"Hey!!! I'm normally proportioned you little squid!!!" Shark man yelled at him as he took a giant leap and stomped on Naruto's cloak.

"Agggghhhh let me go!!!! Child molester!!!! Child rapist!!!! Somebody!!!! There's a big ass fish man child rapist here!!!! Heellppp!!!!" Naruto struggled in his crabwalk, jerking his neck oddly, trying to tear his cloak from under the man's foot.

"*sigh… kids these days. Okay, listen kid—did you happen to see a caravan passing by?"

"Eh?"

"A caravan!! You know? Horse drawn carriage, guards, scary looking people in general?"

"Oh… no. Why?"

"Well, I was gonna kill all of them, and take their supplies, and collect bounties for some of the nins guarding it, but if you haven't seen them…"

"Well, I've been asleep all da—Wait, what?!!?"

"What?"

"You're gonna kill the caravan of people!??! Why the hell would you do that!?!? What's wrong with you!??!"

"Well… I need money… I'm poor… and I'm actually a little hungry," Shark man said, giving a fully toothed shark grin.

"Ehh!?!? So you're gonna eat the people!?!!? He's a fucking man-eater!!!!!!" Naruto screeched, writhing around with his cloak still under the man's foot.

"Calm down, will ya? I am not a man-eater, I am not a child molester, and I am not a child rapist. I'm just a missing-nin trying to make an honest living killing a couple people, maybe overthrow the current military regime, stuff like that."

"Eh?"

"… Take down the man."

"Huh… I don't get it."

"Never mind… Anyways, what are you doing out here? You look like you should still be in diapers."

"Fuck you, fish man!!! I just ran away from home!! And for your information, I'm four years old!!!"

"Fish man? Don't push it kid," the man growled, violently pinning his sword into Naruto's cloak.

"Yeah well, you're scary!!! Anyways, bye!!" Naruto waved goodbye as he held the tiger handseal. He poofed away with a slow shunshin and could be seen twenty feet away, making a break for it. The shark man's eyes widened for a moment.

'Shunshin? At four? Hm…' Shark man grinned to himself as he tugged his sword out of the ground and gave chase to the small, rude boy. His face took on a whimsical look as he thought about having an apprentice.

"Hey kid!!! Wait up a second!!"

"Why should I??" Naruto yelled back in a bratty tone.

"Because I didn't kill you the first time, you little snot!!" Shark man said as he caught Naruto by the cloak and lightly tossed him into a tree, knocking the air out of him. Naruto weezed painfully as he slid to the ground.

"I'm thinking I want to train you to be a shinobi."

"… Why?" Naruto looked up at the land shark half curiously, half still in pain.

"Because I'm thinking you show a little potential and I'd like to see how far you can go with some training."

"I don't get it. Why would you want to help a kid you just met?"

"Well, you're four, so you're more like a toddler in my book. Also, the younger you are, the faster you'll learn, and it's not like me to leave a kid out in the wilderness all alone when there are giant man eating animals, extremely poisonous insects, all that fun stuff, just waiting to eat you… Which makes me wonder how you didn't get eaten if you were sleeping the entire time…. "

Naruto paled at the mention of giant animals and poisonous insects.

"But aside from all that, you have much greater potential than you know, and I want to help you realize that potential.

"I still don't get you. You don't know me for shit!!"

"… Look kid, do you want free training from a jounin or not?"

"Okay!! When do we start?? Wait… What's a jounin? And who are you anyways?" Naruto hopped to his feet. He was trying to figure out the big fish man's intents while keeping his attention on him. Had he finally found someone who could look upon him without disgust?

"I'm Hoshigaki Kisame, one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and a jounin is the rank right under Hokage, only given to those with the potential of becoming Hokage. Or at least in Hidden Mist it's like that. I don't think it's like that everywhere else…

"Anyways, we'll start tomorrow, I want to collect this bounty first," Kisame turned his head to where the noise of horses clopping their feet could be heard.

Seven hours later, Kisame was four hundred thousand ryo richer, and had one four-year-old brat in tow.

ooooooo

"Alright kid, I've never taught gennin before, and I doubt you're even at gennin standard, but let's figure this out anyways. Do you know anything about ninja, any techniques or something?"

"Yeah, I know lots!!! I know how to walk on walls, how to move really fast, how to henge, how to bunshin, and sometimes, when I concentrate really hard, I think I can run on water," Naruto's voice lowered to a whisper, his eyes darting as if walking on water was a supreme skill.

"Huh. That's actually pretty interesting. Show me how you bunshin and then show me how you henge." Kisame didn't let his surprise reach his face as he noted the child's already extensive grasp of ninjutsu at such an early age.

"Ha!!" Naruto yelled as he forced out the chakra to produce his version of a bunshin. This time, Kisame's eyes widened at the considerable amount of chakra the kid put out into his technique.

"What the fuck!? Okay, first of all, who taught you that, and second of all, how can you do it, and third of all, how are you not dead yet?!!?!?"

'What. The. Fuck. This kid just performed a technique that chuunin have a hard time with. Holy shit, this kid's gonna be a powerful motherfucker if he doesn't die before twenty'.

"I learned by myself!! Cause like, in Konoha, there's a ton of ninja always training, so it's always really easy to watch people practice their techniques and everything but like, the first couple times I did it, I fell asleep a ton!!"

"So… you're telling me that you learned a jounin chakra level technique by… yourself? By just watching other ninja do it?" Kisame's face was now the epitome of astonishment.

'A self-taught jounin level ninjutsu powerhouse. At four. Fuck being a powerful motherfucker, this kid was gonna conqer the five elemental countries. Or something equally great. Maybe become the world's greatest shinobi, like the Six Paths Sage or something. Shit'. Kisame grinned evilly at the possibilities.

"Haha, yeah!! Isn't that how other ninja do it?"

"… Sure… Well anyways, I'm gonna start you off with chakra control exercises, and until you can do those to my requirement, there's gonna be no jutsu training. At all. Got it?"

"Yessir Mr. Shark man sir!!" Naruto saluted cheerily.

"Don't fucking call me shark man, midget!!"

Yessir Mr.—SMACK!!" Kisame belted him into the ground lightly.

"Owww!!!" Naruto cried, beginning to tear up.

"Another thing, you're gonna have to learn how to not cry too, brat."

"*Sniff. Asshole—SMACK!!"

"No backtalking either."

"*Sniff sniff. Dickwad."

"Ugh… Shut up before I decide not to teach you."

ooooooo

One month later…

"Okay kid, I'm gonna start teaching you a couple more points on taijutsu since you look like a drowning crab when you spar."

"Hey! … yeah, no comment…"

"Heh, that's what I thought. Anyways, I'm not the best build for my clan's style since they've always been a little… well, they've always been smaller. But for the sake of your size, I think it might work a little better for you, for now at least."

"What is it though?"

"This is the eki-yari style, the liquid spear. I guess the bad part about it is also its best part, which is its more extensive use of stiff-arming in its attacks. Dumb I know, but it's got a little more power to it than you might expect."

"How so?"

"It's designed to break your opponents appendages and through that, break your opponent. You're not going to shatter your opponent- you're going to break them chunk-by-chunk. Sound good?"

"… I guess?"

ooooooo

A year passed, and Naruto had grown extensively under Kisame's guidance. He was a vicious diminutive fighter who could hold his own against the average chuunin. He had committed his first kill not more than a month ago to collect a bounty to make some extra pocket money… Well, more like to keep up his ramen tab… But it was at this point that Kisame felt that this was all the growth he could provide for Naruto at the moment.

Despite the bond that he had forged with the boy, he knew deep down that Naruto would need teammates, which he'd need a village, and a ranking system that he could totally dominate. All of these things, a high profile missing nin might never be able to provide. So it was with a somber wave that Kisame left him with the infamous Kira Bee, the younger brother of the Raikage, and holder of the eight-tailed beast, the ushi-oni.

Naruto glared at Kisame as he knelt down to his level.

"Look kid, there are some things that a ninja village can provide more easily than a missing nin. You understand that, right?"

"I hate you. You're exactly like everyone else in the world, ditching people at your whim, to sate your own selfishness—SMACK!!!" Instead of giving into the blow that Kisame had landed on his face, he stood firm and glared back defiantly.

"You really don't understand, do you?!? I'm trying to give you a better shot at making something of yourself!! I'm leaving you so that you can make the most of your life!! Look, you have more potential than I'm capable of unlocking because let's face it, this village is simply a better environment than a missing nin life will ever be. Get it?"

"I won't forgive you for this."

"Yeah you will kid. Just like when I forgave you for feeding me shark fin soup. Anyways, Kira owes me more than a few favors and he'll take care of you. Just think, this way, you'll be able to interact with kids your age and all of that, make some friends your age. After all, the people older than you aren't gonna be around any longer than the people younger than you, right?"

"…"

Kisame sighed and stood up. He faced Kira and nodded to him.

"If he isn't in the Bingo Books before he's twelve, I'm coming for your head. You hear me?"

"Ha! My shark faced… force… he'll have a bounty bigger than yours. By that time."

"… Yeah, you should really give up on the rapping."

Kisame turned from the gates and shunshined away from the village. A few tears dripped from Naruto's eyes as he watched the sparse amount of smoke disperse.

'Asshole'.

ooooooo

Kisame fled the area, wiping his face on his sleeve quickly. So this was what having a kid or an apprentice must have felt like. And here he was all along, thinking he had rid himself of emotion when behind all that bloodlust, there was still a small sensitive side in him.

'Fuck. If the other swordsmen saw me right now, they'd never stop calling me a pussy'.

ooooooo

End chapter 2.

I know it's kinda faster paced than you might expect, but I guess I'm just rushing this so I can get to the scenes that I know I'll enjoy writing, Yeah, I'm a selfish writer… Boo…


	3. Chapter 3 assimilation part 1

Back and bored... This summer is slowly killing me...

So... thank you shinobi89 for the constructive feedback. I'm going to put Kisame back in later, but at the moment, I was trying to express his almost ADD habit of doing things at whim because he's one of the most powerful Mist nin's and he's really got nothing better to do since he killed that other daimyo. That, and his early attempts to be heartless as well as cruel, which will eventually lead up to his decision on whether to join the Akatsuki or not. As for a Kumo Naruto, I felt like doing it because without a lot of material on Kumo, it has a little more room for me to build Naruto's environment in Kumo. So... yayy...

Anyways, here we go.

Chapter 3. Assimilation- part 1

"You have to go through the academy before you can fight. Follow my directions cause you know that I'm right!!"

"Dude. Shut up— SMACK!!"

"Don't show disrespect unless you can watch your step!!"

"Yeah, well fuck you and your rhy— SMACK!!!"

"Keep on talking and I'll hit you with my left!!"

"… I don't like you."

Their banter continued through their way to the Raikage tower.

"So you're telling me that this brat was dropped off –personally- by our friend Hoshigaki, with a personal recommendation for training here? Now why would that crazy fuck do that? Are you sure it was even him?" The Raikage stared at Naruto's diminutive size with a quirked eyebrow and apparent misgivings, as he, his brother, and Kisame were all of rather large stature.

"He had the Samehada or else I would've said Nada and a little something about the kids potential being essentia—."

"Shut up and be serious!!! So if you have potential kid, what can you do? And how old are you anyways? You look a little on the runty side."

"I'm five you loud fuck!!! And I can do a lotta stuff!! I know how to do Kage Bunshin, Shunshin, Taijutsu, and Kenjutsu!!!"

"Five years old? And you know Kage Bunshin? If you're lying, time will tell… Huh. I guess that means we'll have to set you up in the academy with say… next year's graduating class. See how you take it."

"Wait, where am I gonna stay?"

"Ah… I think we can get you set up in one of the apartments here. Kira, find Kaori to get him set up."

Kira flinched at the name.

ooooooo

Kira and Naruto walked through the village which looked like it had been hewn directly into a valley between mountains until they stopped at a

"Uh… Uhm… *gulp. Guh…" Kira flushed increasingly with Naruto's stare.

"Why ya so uneasy tan man? And who's Kaori? Why dyou flinch whenever I say Kaori's name? Hahaha, she super powerful or something? Did you do something to make her really mad so she'd want to kick your ass? Like did you stand her up on a date? And now no women in the village want anything to do with you because she told them all you're a jackass in a public spectacle involving your ass whipping? Or something equally humiliating?" With each comment, Kira reddened substantially until his face looked severely sun burnt. He would have hit Naruto by now except in the administration building, you never knew where that woman might be lurking…

"Kid, you really need to know when to shut up… And for your information—."

"Yeah, he did stand me up on a date. Two. So he could go on missions." A voice came from the top of the stairway they stood in front of. Kira's face paled so fast that Naruto seriously considered the possibility that he might be part chameleon.

"Yeah well, you made me feel like I was in hell. Not swell. Although your smell— CRACK!!!" The woman known as Kaori had taken a leap down the stairs and flying kicked Kira out of the building. Narutos eyes bulged as he saw Kira bounce… and bounce… and bounce… and roll… and roll… off of a cliff.

"I'm guessing you're the kid that Kisame dropped off?" Naruto got a good look at the woman standing in front of him. She was a curvy and yet toned bronzed beauty that wore her shoulder length red hair in a pair of ponytails. She was dressed in a blue belted grey yakuta with a brown leather breastplate and a black-sheathed sword on her back.

"How'd you know already? We only left like… 5 minutes ago!!"

"It's our information routing system. Paperwork is filed by ninja who have to shunshin between buildings and deliver files. Your paperwork was filed even before you arrived at the gates. We like to know everything that goes on in the village. Ninja and all, you know."

"… Sure…"

"Anyways, let's get you set up. I'm sure you're a little bit anxious about having a home now, aren't you?"

"A… home?"

"You know, a place to come back too and relax and all? Your own personal space?"

"… Not really." Kaori slapped her head. You can't exactly teach a kid what a home is, can you? I mean, explain what it is, but convey the feeling?

"Ah… well, you'll realize what home is maybe in a month or two."

"If you say so… Hey, what about the big rhyming stander upper?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. It's not like he landed in a hot spring or anything and got trampled by a stampede of nude raging women. Wait… oh, never mind."

"…"

ooooooo

"So this is the apartment building you'll be staying in. It's just a civilian apartment complex, but this was the most accommodating place that I could find on such short notice. It's nice though, reasonably furnished and all that. Oh, and the training grounds are at the bottom of that trail, which is a mile hike but there's a hot spring down there too. And… oh right, until you turn in your first mission report, you'll receive a dependent of the village stipend of… I think 200 ryo? I don't know. But still enough to get by, especially at your age. Anything else you need?"

"Um… well, which one's mine?"

"Oh right!!! Ok, let's go." The pair walked into the lobby, which was led to a tall, ten floor building with a modern art design. There were shiny steel reinforced blown glass panels on each of the floors, fencing of the balconies, and teahouse roofing at the top that bordered the platform of the rooftop.

"This is yours, room 731. You've got your stove, refrigerator, sink, cabinets, oohh marble countertop!! And all that fun stuff. Over there is your bedroom, your bathroom, and your closet, and that's your living room." Naruto glanced around at the cream white walls and the rice paper doors that led to his bathroom. It was a little more than four hundred square feet, and it really was quite nice. Civilian complex indeed.

"Um… dyou know where to buy stuff here?"

"Oh right, there's that one street of department stores right after the carp fountain that we passed and there's the grocery store in between the park and the ninja supply store. Anything else?"

"I guess that's it. Am I ever gonna see you again?"

"Ha!! In your dreams squirt!!!"

"… Ewww!!!! Are you kidding me!?! I've passed at least ten girls on the way here that are all way hotter than you!!!! I mean, you probably lock yourself up in an office all day and you expect to come out of it without wrinkles?!? Go look in the mirror sometime and check out those utility bags under your eyes!!! Go get some collagen or something!!! I swear, you could fit a corpse in those things!!! Seriously, is that wh—SMACK!!!" Naruto flew into his bedroom, clipping the bedpost with his head before landing limply on his mattress.

"Oh, now you're definitely going to see me. I am going to make your life a living hell you little gremlin!!!"

"Yeah what are you gonna do, write a complaint?!? In your office?!? All alo— CRACK!!!" She had just thrown his sandal at him.

"I'm the bitch that'll be assigning your team missions. Head of Administration, remember? You'll be pulling weeds for the rest of your life!!!"

"Ehh!?!? Noooooo!!!!!" Naruto shot out of his bed and began groveling at her feet.

"You can't do that!!!! That's messed up!!! That's like making me eat babies!!! Oh my gosh!!! Did you make rapping man eat babies?!!? Is that why he stood you up?!? Twice?!? So you could be home alone with just you and— SLAM!!!" She had just walked out.

'Ugh, crazy bitch', Naruto grumbled. Surveying his new home, he sighed and began unpacking.

ooooooo

Naruto was led by a random teacher to his classroom where he stood in front of some thirty odd other children at least five years older than he.

"Well what's your name little one?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at the 'little one' comment.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. You?"

"I am Izuko Kaika but you may address me as Izuko-sensei. I assume that you have been prepared to take the gennin exams in the coming months?"

"I think so. I don't know what you people teach here."

"Ah well then perhaps we'll all have something to learn from you as well. Class, Uzumaki Naruto will be joining you for your final year before becoming gennin. I hope you'll all make him feel welcome and that you'd be able to learn from each other as well. Now, go pick a seat Naruto, and we'll resume attendance."

Naruto climbed the stairs to the right of the classroom and picked a seat next to a bored looking kid with a black, braided Mohawk. He was skinny and lanky and was slouched in his chair, his arms crossed on his chest.

"Hi, what's your name?" Naruto held out his hand with an wide grin on his face.

"Fuck you runt," Mohawk grunted, not bothering to even glance at Naruto. Naruto growled and decked him. The boy flew out of his chair and into the third row, hitting a short blonde girl.

"What the— Shin!!! Get the hell off me!!!" the blonde screeched, tugging the boy off of her.

"That little runt hit me!!!" Shin glared at Naruto, standing up and brushing himself off.

"Pfft. He cleared you over three rows? Ha!!!" a random kid laughed.

"Hey!!! You know what, as long as we're doing this, we might as well have a spar to see if Naruto's really prepared for this class. Let's go to the yard and have a little spar," The Izuko sensei said, opening the door of the classroom and ushering the students out.

The students began chattering in excitement as they poured out of the building and into a training ground in the back of the school. They formed a wide ring around the two and their chattering grew in intensity. Izuko-sensei stepped into the center.

"Naruto, Shin? You will be fighting each other to knockout. If you know any jutsu, you may only use them the moment the other uses jutsu. That goes for weapons as well. If one of you kills the other, you're going to have a long talk with the Head of the Administration Department. Is that understood?" Naruto gulped. Why did everything seem to revolve around that crazy bitch?

"Please!!! As if that waste of skin could kill me, let alone draw blood!!" Shin took a guarded stance, poised to deliver a retaliatory pounding.

"Hajime!!" Naruto smirked darkly as he shot forward, kicking up dust. He began a taijutsu combo, initiating it with a flying roundhouse kick that caught Shin in the forward shoulder, opening up his guard. Still in the air, Naruto delivered a back kick that clipped Shin's nose, breaking it. Landing in a handstand, Naruto delivered a boot kick to the sternum that sent Shin flying back. He landed on the ground, wheezing and coughing up blood.

"You little shit!!! I'm going to make you regret—SLAM!!!" Naruto had just knocked his mouth shut with a front kick. Shin stumbled and regained his bearings.

"That's it!!! Raiton: [shear?]!!!" Shin yelled, clasping his hands into seals. Naruto grinned as he threw a smoke bomb at the floor. Shin had a streaming lightning blade in between his palms and had his eyes darting for Naruto.

Suddenly, a pair of hands reached up from the earth and grabbed for purchase behind Shin.

"What the hell!?!?!" Shin screamed as he disengaged his jutsu to… pull up his pants… The other students laughed at his predicament as he struggled to pick up his pants.

Naruto had just pantsed Shin with an Inner Decapitation jutsu. Climbing out of the earth, he stared awkwardly at the struggling Shin. Shrugging, Naruto aimed a well-placed roundhouse kick to Shin's temple. He went down like a rock, but not before picking up his pants all the way. Glancing up at Izuko-sensei, he bowed and stepped away and into the ring of kids surrounding him.

"Huh. Well congratulations, you just beat one of our top five students in less than a minute," Izuko-sensei said, clapping Naruto on the back.

"But now that that's over, let's all head back in and get some studying done!!!" The class groaned as he punched his fist into the air. He picked up Shin by the back of his shirt and led the class back to the classroom. As Naruto sat down, he felt the curious glances of the students around him, all now wondering whom this little unintentional troublemaker was.

After class ended, Naruto trudged his way back to his apartment, unsure of what to do with the rest of his time.

ooooooo

Kisame sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean, a good week away from Cloud. Watching the waves crash on the shore, he thought what Naruto might be doing right now. Fuck he was bored. With Naruto gone, there was nothing to do— except train, eat, kill. Why didn't he keep the kid around again? Oh right, he wanted what was best for him, so he left the kid in Hidden Cloud. One of the few unselfish acts of Hoshigaki Kisame. Fuck, next time he was gonna be selfish. Anyways, why did he keep the kid in the first place? Oh yeah, the kid had an assload of potential and he was bored.

'Everything comes down to boredom…' he thought flatly. He looked across the ocean thinking of what to do next. Apparently, ever since the seven swordsmen had disbanded, they and some of the jounin had reorganized amongst the surrounding towns within the archipelago across the ocean and declared themselves pirates. Skilled ninja turned dominant mercenaries and plunderers.

'Hm. I could go for a little mayhem' he thought, standing up and stretching. Shouldering Samehada, he slowly made his way down from the cliff to the nearest port. He had old friends to see.

ooooooo

A couple of months had passed and Naruto's skills had for the moment, reached their limit as he wasn't being pushed as hard as he would be with Kisame, and he noticed. Because of this, he began frequenting the training grounds as he had in Konoha and had begun observing the Kumo nins training. The training grounds in Kumo were extremely different because of their lack of consistency in even levels. There were enormous rock overhangs everywhere, while forests were on the other side of the village, closer to Spring Country.

He found that many of them focused on strategy based attacks and techniques because a large amount of the Raiton ninjutsu took a lot of chakra.

Unfortunately, Kumo was a little more wary of spies and because of that, he found himself senbon-ed to a tree by the sleeves of his shirt and the legs of his pants.

"Who are you and what are you doing here, spy?" a long-haired woman asked dully, pointing a short sword at not his neck, but his eye, poised to thrust it through his eye socket. She had waist length, peach colored hair and wore a standard ANBU outfit with a sparsely pocketed flak vest and a pair of long bandaged black pants.

"Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruto!! I was eating!! Who are you?" he said cheerily, struggling to wave with his pinned arm. Behind his cheery façade, he was busy trying to slow his heart rate. It was supposedly how chicks could smell fear— accelerated body odor and all that, like cold sweat. He also took a sideways glance at the spilled ramen soup that was at her feet.

'Awww… well, got the noodles at least' he noted, briefly bemoaning the loss of the soup.

"Oh… SMACK!!!" She slapped him across the face with the flat of her blade, leaving a large red bar on his face, printed over his whisker marks.

"Shit lady, what the fuck was that for?!?" Naruto screamed, his right eye starting to tear up.

"Just making sure you weren't using henge or anything," she replied calmly. Twitching her hand, she caused all of the senbon to jolt out of the tree and back into her hand.

"I'm Shimuka. You're one of Izuko's students, right?" She sheathed her sword and gave him a hand.

"Yeah, you know him?"

"We've been on a couple of dates, but it never worked out. You're the little chakra well that he's been talking about?"

"Um, I guess? He was impressed by one of my ninjutsu? I think?"

"Show me."

"If I show you, you have to buy me new clothes!! You just stapled my entire outfit, fricking trigger happy bitch," Naruto lowered his voice and muttered the last part, and received a smack to the head as a result.

"I heard that. And sure, you look like you need a new outfit anyways. What technique are you going to show me?"

"This!! Kage Bunshin!!!" Twenty clones popped up around Naruto, all in various positions, one in the back picking his nose. Shimuka's eyes widened at the amount of clones in the vicinity. Izuko wasn't kidding, this kid was a power plant. Her eyes narrowing, a hint of a smile reached her lips.

"You're graduating this year too, right?" Naruto nodded, only staying silent out of fear that she would redraw her sword and senbon.

"Well then maybe I'll see you around soon."

"Why?"

"… You'll see."

"When?"

"If you keep asking stupid questions, I'm going to hit you again, this time with the sharp side of my sword," she said flatly.

"Yeah, you're definitely going in my mean person book… Are you gonna give me money to buy new clothes?"

"As long as you don't buy orange."

Eh?!? Why??"

"Do you see any orange trees? Any orange rocks? Orange bushes? Any part of the natural environment that's predominantly orange?"

"… What's predominantly mean?"

ooooooo

End chapter

This was like an establishment chapter of Naruto's assimiliation into the village, and a little scope into the mind of Kisame, who I view as a chaotic assassin who holds no loyalties except to himself, which makes him question his tenuous attachment to Naruto, which he abandons early on so that it won't grow any more than it already has. I'm going to make this a two part chapter because I feel like this is really incomplete, but I want to make sure this gets published before I get cut off from internet for however much time. Yay.


End file.
